Tips for long-term relationship

Take your time; there is plenty of it as far as good relationships are concerned!

Begin by simply being friends with the person you are seeking a relationship with. This stage is vital as it allows you to learn more about your partner, as well as confirm/deny your feelings towards a relationship with them.

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Tell each other everything. If there's something you don't like about them, tell them how you feel. The relationship isn't going to work unless you settle your differences.

Never cheat. Cheating has ruined many relationships. If it's variety that you want, then do role playing, or anything along those lines. Being with someone else will make your partner wonder why someone else was better than them. If you are seriously considering cheating, you should consider ending the relationship so your partner won't get hurt.

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Be spontaneous. Surprise your partner with tickets to a game or movie. When it's nice and sunny outside, a picnic would be very romantic, or a walk by the lake. Even just the simple flowers on a doorstep with a cute note would work.

Spend time with each other. You don't want to miss each other too much. But then you don't want to spend so much time with each other to the point they are sitting in the bathroom with you.

Tell your loved one how much you love them. If you don't do this often, they're going to feel neglected and like you don't care anymore.

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Make the commitment. Put your time and money where your commitment is. Love is not always a warm fuzzy feeling. Often it is a conscious choice. Choosing to overlook deficiencies, choosing to deal kindly rather than harshly with mistakes, and choosing to do for the other person that which you know will make them feel special. Having someone set aside their own wishes to make you feel special is incredibly heartwarming and flattering. Do this for your mate and watch the relationship blossom.

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Going off the basis that a good long term relationship is based around love, we can look into how love is defined. Dr. Sternberg (a psychologist who studied love) put forth an article speaking of the different aspects of love. In short, there are three vital components that make up true love (or consummate love). These components are Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. The intimacy portion of love is that of friends; you enjoy spending time together, and have grown rather close strictly within the realms of "personality attraction." The passion aspect can attribute to many relationship losses. Although physical attraction is necessary in a relationship, this feeling does not need to be acted upon without full fulfillment of the intimacy aspect. If you rush head-first into passion without considering the needs of a very close friend, somebody is going to end up hurt. The final, and equally important, aspect is that of Commitment. There are two forms of commitment, short-term and long-term. Short-term commitment is the thought of simply saying "I am willing to love this person" this may not involve a necessary long term commitment, but it is the initial choice that one makes before entering the relationship. The long-term aspect (and the one we're discussing) is the choice to remain with said person for an extended portion of time. When all three aspects are fulfilled, consummate love is attained.

Now that you fully understand what love is, you can make your own assumptions as to what you need to do. While every aspect does not need to be instantly attained (IE. some portions may come later in the relationship) usually all need to be present in order to maintain a healthy long term relationship.

TIPS:

·         Remember to take it slowly! A long-term relationship is something to work towards, it is not just given to you. Just make sure that neither you, nor your partner is uncomfortable with any aspect of the relationship you are in and you'll be fine.

·         Communication can be the key. Although early on there may be nervous apprehension, this is all part of the game. In time though, you may need to be fully frank with someone and let them know how you feel.

·         Don't be offended if they say something you disagree with. If they don't like the place you want to take them to dinner, go somewhere else that you both like, even if you might be a little tired of it.

·         Be sure that you're with someone you really love. Don't tell yourself you're going to be with someone forever just because you like the way their eyes are, or how toned their abs look. If the only thing you guys have in common is that you like cheese, it might be a good idea to find someone you can see yourself with forever.

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